This blog post has been one that has been on my heart to sit down and write out for a while. I really wanted to share what my honest thoughts are with being an online mom and how that has effected me, mostly because I haven't seen any blogging mamas really talk about a topic like this before and I want to bring awareness that though majority of my life is very public, I'm still a real person who has feelings and emotions and that has really taken a toll since being here in the internet space.Now don't get me wrong, I LOVE creating content, sharing my life and helping other moms like myself navigate through motherhood. Through this blog and Instagram I have made connections with so many amazing women, worked with high quality brands and gained opportunities that will be such sweet memories for a lifetime. But something that I really had to take a step back on and seek God heavily through prayer was this consistent battle of insecurity that I was dealing with. With blogs and instagram profiles that I see- it's so easy to get caught up with wanting to be like the moms who seem to have it all together. I really had to remember that with social media, for the most part is sort of like the highlight reel. Everyone for the most part is posting their BEST moments in life and one thing I realized is that everyone goes through something at one point or another and just because I don't see it doesn't make them a horrible person.
Too Much? Y'all I'm just being honest.
The jealousy bug hit me hard. And that's when I realized for me that I needed my priorities in check. I needed to take a moment to soak up a little more life and not worry about how many likes I have on a photo because believe me, that was me! I doubted myself all the time, and I was consumed with being able to do all the things and post consistently and make this blog a full financial help for our family; but while I was busy off doing that, y'all I was missing spending time with my son. I had a moment when I was watching him a few months ago and at the time he wasn't able to roll over yet- at least to my knowledge. How about when I finally decided to pay attention I noticed he was able to do that! I found it hard to accept that though I was home with him, I wasn't present. That tore me up inside. I recently went back to work but even then I still was obsessed with still being "seen". It wasn't until I took my month break that I truly felt liberated. Now that month in June was stressful but it felt good to not be on instagram, to not check analytics and to not worry about likes. I started this blog to share and help and I realized I made it about something else. I went through but I can say that if you're going through something similar don't feel alone! The most important thing to remember is passion over presence. If you're passionate and you're audience is passionate about the work you create, it honestly wont matter that you're not present online all day every day. It took me a while to realize this as well as the principal of good things grow over time. Stay persistent and don't give up- that's the key to longevity as an online blogger.
I hope this encourages you today mama.